I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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