could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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