I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
