I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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