real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
