I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
