The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
a search helicopter?!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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