summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
