I want to make a zoo with you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
