the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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