We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
