Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
