i don't like sucking hair
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
