party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
