dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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