you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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