I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
did i walk over a car last night?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
