This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Terrible idea I love it
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
