Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
