I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
