You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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