Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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