I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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