i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
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We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
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It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.