its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.