Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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