id be glad to
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
how drunk are you?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.