He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
