Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
