On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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