While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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