I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
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