who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
