I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize