Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
