A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm at about main and main street
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
