I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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