I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize