your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
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Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.