you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.