NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
