I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.