Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Couch. On fire.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.