At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE