seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
