I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Found the puke drawer
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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