How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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