why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
