It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I miss vodka workout Fridays
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
