I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
