So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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