I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
