I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
