Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
