Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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