he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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