ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
