What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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