But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
