uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
