Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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