me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
