is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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