based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
