Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
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I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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