I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
