I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
