Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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