What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
