just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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