it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
