Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
