Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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